Edward Espe Brown, perhaps best known as the author of the Tassajara Bread Book, once asked his Zen teacher for advice on how to approach his new role as head cook. Roshi said something like:
"When you're washing the rice, wash the rice; when you're cutting the carrots, cut the carrots; when you're stirring the soup, stir the soup."
I heard Brown relate this story in a film some years ago, and I've drawn upon it countless times since. In recent weeks, I've brought it to mind daily. Many times daily. Usually aloud.
"When I'm carrying the water bucket...when I'm shifting this hay bale...when I'm folding this laundry...when I'm filling the woodbox..."
There hasn't been much actual washing of rice. There has been stirring of soup. And there has been a lot of frozen food and toast and - Decadence Alert! - grapefruit
purchased already segmented.
"When I'm walking with Piper..."
"When I'm sawing this board...
"When I'm breathing through this pain and trying to sleep..."
I have accomplished very little that wasn't strictly necessary in January, but the stuff that was truly necessary has been done. And that's got to be enough.
It is enough.
~~~
I want to say a heartfelt "thank you" to everyone who left a comment on my most recent post, or who sent me an email, or a message on ravelry. Every word meant a lot to me. My silence since has not meant a lack of appreciation. I hope you know that. I believe you know that. Thank you.
~~~
Today's post feels somewhat scattered, but I'm going to go ahead and put it up. My recent communication attempts have been rusty and clunky, and challenged by even the 140-character limit of twitter. This post is probably the closest I've come to coherence in a while.
Wait...can coherence be scattered?
~~~
See what I mean?
~~~~~
Sounds like pain is consuming you - so sorry to hear that. Wish you better soon ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteThanks Dani, it's challenging at times, but it could be so much worse. I feel very lucky, really! :)
DeleteMy comment vanished into my crashing tablet, but I was saying I wish the rice weren't so hard to wash. And that the winter will soon pass.
ReplyDeleteI hope your tablet isn't getting ready to bite the dust, Boud - it's your preferred device, isn't it? Except for #DrawingAugust :)
DeleteThis winter has been so mild here (so far!) that it almost hasn't felt like winter at all, except for the ice. And not being able to drive fenceposts. Do you still have your snow?
Ha-ha! You're still thinking. And always on your toes. :) I have to constantly remind myself to stay in the moment or I'm scattered all over the place and nothing is accomplished. Take care of yourself!
ReplyDeleteIf I didn't have livestock, I don't know what would be done here some days. With them, I have no choice but to pull my socks up and get doing, every day, no matter what.
DeleteI'm glad I have them!
Miss Roobarb gives the thumbs-up to Miss Piper modelling this seasons must-have for hairy dogs. Very stylish!
ReplyDeleteWell, one of us has to keep up the standards around here ;) Piper is a natural, with her tousled, windswept look and outdoorsy, don't-shoot-me-orange handcrafted designer vest!
DeleteSending SCADS of healing, peaceful thoughts your way. To Piper, too. XOXOXOXO
ReplyDeleteSo sorry your body has been letting you down lately - that is not nice of it and it definitely needs a stern talking to. Take care of you!!!
ReplyDeleteNow, Quinn, you know why it takes me so long to visit...having visited already today and left a comment that didn't go through...low tech ejit, what can I say? lol I love both of Espe Brown's cookbooks and used to use them frequently. Right now, they're packed in a box somewhere because I thought I was going to move...contract fell thru, so here I am. Anyway, I have a small collection of monk monastery cookbooks and they all give such pleasurable reading and cooking.
ReplyDeleteAs to pain...you've done the most important things...taken care of the animals and you. Yes, I did mean to put the animals first because that's what a good steward does. Hopefully, you then put yourself next and took care of your poor body. Last night I took one half Aleve tablet and slept for 11 hours; it was marvelous! Today, I had no pain and managed to get work done...again, marvelous!
Scattered coherence? Isn't that like an oxymoron? lol
Thanks for coming back and rewriting a comment, Sandra! Sorry about the glitch, whatever it was.
DeleteAnd yes, an oxymoron for sure ;)
I'm sorry to hear of your pain issues, but you seem to be very positive in dealing with it. Animals keep us going even when all we want to do is stop and rest. I deal with continuous vertigo and have been working with my doctor to get that sorted. On bad days I can hardly see straight (let alone walk straight!), but the dog hasn't a clue and just begs to go for that morning walk ... sigh.
ReplyDeleteThat's a cute photo of those stocky baby legs holding the 2x4 steady as you cut through it ;)
I read your previous post about Kitty Rex, and I'm awfully sorry that he has now gone from your life. I did type out a message to you at the time, but it seems to have not made it through from some glitch or other.
I do hope you have some relief soon Quinn. Take care,
Wendy xox
PS I see the Great Horned Owl is back on her nest on the live cam!
DeleteSo sorry I missed your earlier comment - Sandra apparently had the same experience (above comment) and I have no idea what might have happened. The comments really mean a lot to me, and I don't want to lose any.
DeleteVertigo is horrible! I hope your doctor gets it sorted out soon. I had vertigo after middle-ear surgery many years ago, and I recall having to walk very close to walls in case I needed to slide down one, to the floor. And putting a lawn chair in my shower. There was nothing to do except hope my body could adjust and work it out, which thank goodness it did, after a few weeks. I hope yours will, too!
Yes, I've been watching the owlcam - two eggs again :)
Your pain is what really hits me from this post. I couldn't agree more with your approach. When you walk with Piper, you walk with Piper, nothing more and nothing less. The same with your chores. It's amazing how very much you accomplish and how many things you're talented at (your carpentry plus your knitting totally blow me away).
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to see a post, regardless of whether it's scattered. I was getting a little worried about you but didn't want to bug you. Hang in there, my friend.
Many thanks, KB. And I appreciate your sensitivity, but you could never bug me :)
DeletePrayers you pain and health are on the way to better days. Your focus is a good way of doing things.
ReplyDeleteSorry I haven't been here, my organizing the reading list lost a few favorite blogs. I was wondering why you haven't been posting. Duh on me.