minutes of light

Victoria Crowe Large Tree Group 1975

It was 11F when Moxie and I got up this morning. Brisk. Invigorating. Also, dark. I opened the door for Moxie, hoping the goats wouldn't hear the door opening and start thinking they would be served breakfast before dawn today. Generally on a cold, dry day I won't feed until the sun has appeared over the stone wall, dazzling through the still-dark tree trunks - at about 8:06 these days. My goats sleep very cozily tucked in, and there is no reason to make them all wake up, get up, and stand around for an hour in the dimness of predawn, shivering, in order to have their grub. But by the time the sun has appeared, everyone is ready to be up and at it. Violet is hollering, "I heard you open that door THREE HOURS AGO, where have you been?!" and I'm out by the barn, lining up feed pans.

Last night I dozed off early, but woke (for the first of several times, as usual) at 10:20 PM. I got up, fed the stove, and then realized:

I had woken for the Winter Solstice!

It occurred at 10:27 PM here.

Perhaps I has even been woken BY the Winter Solstice. Who knows?

Anyway, as a person who lives very much by the sun, it felt GOOD to know there will be more (and more and more) minutes of light in the days ahead.

I like the dark as much as the next person - in fact, I keep a chaise under the portico year-round so I can drag it out on clear nights and tilt back to look at the sky for a while. "A while" is usually determined not by how cold it is, but by how cold I get: I used to have a old sleeping bag on hand just for this purpose, and could stay outside indefinitely. (That sleeping bag seems to have disappeared; I may soon replace it.) In recent years, my spine does not "do" tilting my head back, so the chaise is the only way to go - and a very nice way it is, too. Sometimes if the cats happen to be outside, they will hop up and sky-watch with me. Which is perfect.

So, as I say, I like the dark. But it's a lot easier to get things done in daylight. And the sun, especially at this time of year, genuinely lifts my spirits. There's no better way to describe it.

I hope everyone is well and happy and joyfully anticipating whatever you do for the upcoming holidays, if you celebrate them in any way. And if this time of year is in any way sad or stressful for you, I hope you can find ways to help yourself feel more at ease. For what it's worth, I find even quite simple activities or treats or personal rituals can be very powerful.

Wishing everyone enough of whatever lifts your spirits.

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